The Wait, Episode 4 — Before the Crown Came the Becoming Season

Having already stepped into a new chapter of my life, I’ve found myself reflecting on how much growth can happen quietly — long before anyone else notices. There’s something sobering about realizing how proud a younger version of you might be, not because of what you have now, but because of who you’ve become.

When we’re younger, we’re often taught to believe that transformation happens overnight — a single moment, a magical shift, a dress, a crown. But Scripture tells a different story.

Welcome to Episode 4 of our ongoing blog series The Wait where we talk things biblical womanhood, identity and intimacy.

Sometimes transformation begins long before the spotlight, in seasons of obscurity, discipline, and preparation — what many of us come to know as a becoming season.

Esther’s story begins this way.

Before she was ever known as queen, Esther was an orphan — raised quietly under the guidance of her cousin Mordecai. Long before she understood her purpose, she entered a season of preparation that would shape her character as much as her appearance. Months of refinement. Waiting. Listening. Learning restraint.

At the time, Esther had no way of knowing that this preparation was not cosmetic, but formative — preparing her not just for favor, but for responsibility.

And when the moment came for her to step forward, it wasn’t sudden. It was the result of everything that had come before.

Isn’t it interesting how we only give ourselves credit once we see the outward reward of our obedience, while forgetting the quiet, seemingly insignificant moments that actually lead to our greatest victories?

Just a few months ago, I never would have envisioned the ways I’ve grown — not because nothing was happening, but because so much of the growth was taking place quietly, behind the scenes.

Preparation for Victory in a Becoming Season

Thankfully, she didn’t have to do it alone. Her cousin Mordecai was a steady presence in her life, offering guidance and wisdom as she developed the discernment, confidence, and character needed to lead well when the moment arrived.

14 If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people[...] but you and your father’s family will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position at such a time as this.” Esther 4:14

In the same way, Jesus walks alongside us — teaching, preparing, and guiding us into each new chapter. For Esther, that chapter meant becoming queen and using her voice for the good of her people. For me, it meant fearlessly stepping into the baptism pool — something I once believed I could never do.

Not because it wasn’t possible, but because there was so much holding me back. Before getting baptized, I thought I needed to have everything figured out. I assumed all of my ducks had to be in a row before I could say yes. What I hadn’t yet realized was that God had already been preparing me — quietly, patiently and faithfully — to step into one of the most significant chapters of my life so far. As I think back to that moment now, I have discovered that in spite of the ups and downs that I faced, what held me back before held little weight in comparison to everything that brought me to that very moment. 

The Sweet Smelling Aroma of Christ

This brings up a good point about how before Esther became queen and was part of history that not only transformed her life but the lives of the people she ruled.  Her preparation enabled her to carry herself differently — not just as someone chosen, but as someone marked. The long season of oils and perfumes was less about appearance and more about identity, saturating her in a new way of being before she ever stepped into her assignment.

2 Corinthians 2:15-16 says this:

15 “For to God we are the fragrance of Christ among those who are saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To some we are the aroma of death leading to death and to others an aroma of life leading to life who is adequate for these things…” 

In Esther 2:7-9 also emphasizes Esther was different she was [holy].

7 “Hadassah (that is Esther) because she had no father or mother. The young woman had a beautiful figure and was extremely good looking. When her father and mother died, Mordecai had adopted her as his own daughter[...] 9 The young woman pleased him and gained his favor so that he accelerated the process of her beauty treatments and the special diet she received.

Esther herself carried the aroma of Christ long before she was ever placed in a position of authority. Esther was not picked because of a scent profile or she drew attention. From a human perspective, there was no real motive behind Esther's choice for Queen. She was simply an orphan who "got lucky." But from a spiritual perspective, she was the perfect candidate.

“It is not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything in ourselves to claim anything as coming from ourselves and our adequacy is from God. He has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant not of the letter but of the spirit for the letter kills but the spirit gives life.” 2 Corinthians 3:5-6 

The truth is her beauty was noticed first. Her perfume was viewed after as an extension of her identity and solidified the beauty of her character. Esther being deemed beautiful was not a coincidence. She was made to stand out. She was beautiful because the Spirit of God was alive and well inside of her. In spite of the struggles she faced, she knew that her worth and identity came from Christ alone. She did not feel the need to claim who she served or speak without discernment. The Spirit of God spoke for her. 

Adopted: Chosen and Righteous for a Purpose

Ephesians 1:4-14 Paul speaks on our fatherly adoption through Christ:

4For he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be [holy and blameless] in love before him. 5He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ for himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace that he lavished on us in the Beloved One [...] 8that he richly poured out on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9He made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he purposed in Christ 10 as a plan for the right time — to bring everything together in Christ, both things in heaven and things on earth in him [...]

Esther's own adoption was not merely human error but ordained by Christ for a purpose far greater than she could imagine. The strongholds that she was meant to carry were replaced by peace and deep understanding. The residue that was meant to keep her bound to her old life were broken and replaced with a truth that could not be denied:

Yet Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we all are the work of your hands. Isaiah 64:8

The shift in identity is important to point out here because that meant Esther was now aligned with the cause of Christ and had the ability to tap into the power of His Spirit whenever she needed. She no longer had to rely on herself to make decisions that were not hers to make, but instead depended on Christ to guide her to the right choice at the right time.

2 Corinthians 4:7-18 makes that distinction clear:

Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. 8 We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; 9 we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. 10 We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be displayed in our body. 11For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’s sake, so that Jesus’s life may also be displayed in our mortal flesh. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life in you. 13And since we have the same spirit of faith in keeping with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak. 14For we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you. 15Indeed, everything is for your benefit so that, as grace extends through more and more people, it may cause thanksgiving to increase to the glory of God. 16Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. 17For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. 18So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

A Call to Boldness for a Hardened Generation

12 “Since, then, we have such a hope, we act with great boldness. 13 We are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from gazing steadily until the end of the glory of what was being set aside, 14 but their minds were hardened. For to this day, at the reading of the old covenant, the same veil remains; it is not lifted, because it is set aside only in Christ. 15 Yet still today, whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their hearts, 16 but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:12-18 

Esther's boldness was a signal for a people who were in need of a solution that would eventually change the course of palace culture in which they lived. The people of Persia would no longer be confined by the rules and regulations of a leadership who did not have their best interest at heart. Rather, they were given the opportunity to choose differently.

"During those days the Jews gained relief from their enemies. This was the month when their sorrow was turned into rejoicing and their mourning into a holiday. They were to be days of feasting, rejoicing and of sending gifts to one another and to the poor." Esther 9:22

The Aftertaste of a Season I Survived — A Psalms 27 Reflection

Long before I ever stepped foot in the pool, I carried the weight of that responsibility close to my chest. Was I even ready for what came next? I wrestled with the feeling of being unprepared, uncertain and desperate for safety; shelter.

Psalm 27 gave me words for a feeling when I couldn't find my own.

It taught me that courage wasn't loud.

Faith isn't rushed.

Peace does not mean fear disappears — it means that God's voice finally became louder than the voices in my head.

Psalms 27 reminds me that God was my shelter long before the water ever touched my skin.

"He will conceal me in His shelter in the day of adversity..."

Before the public declaration.

Before I ever knew what courage was.

Before the obedience was built inside of me.

He was already covering me.

Baptism didn't create my identity — it confirmed it.

It became the outward reflection of the work and peace that God had been quietly building in me for years.

Baptism doesn't mean I have all the answers.

However, it meant that I finally trusted the One who does.

Maybe that's what peace really is:

not the absence of uncertainty,

but the presence of God in the middle of it.

When I read, "The Lord is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear? I don't hear perfection.

I hear a woman who has wrestled with doubt,

waited in silence, and still decided to believe.

I thank God that I no longer look like what I went through,

but that I've been molded to look like Him.