heart, meet healing.

Hey Ladies,

I hope y’all have been alright.

I want to start this off with a bit of transparency by saying: I am not okay. I’ve been trying to cope with some really hard truths lately. And let me tell you—it hasn’t gotten easier. Never did I think that while God was getting ready to bless me, He was also revealing the depth of my faith. He was stretching me. Moving me. Planting seeds. And truthfully? He still is.

This whole situation has exposed some gut-wrenchingly messy dynamics that have been lingering in my life for a long time. It’s like being sucker-punched while trying to come up for air. But the air felt sticky and heavy, like after it rains. Except in my case, the rain didn’t stop. In fact, it poured harder.

I’ve spent the last two-ish weeks walking around with this weight in my chest—feeling sick to my stomach at the thought that maybe I deserved the chaos. That somehow, my distraction and disobedience—not just in life, but in my faith—had brought it on. Let’s be real: I’ve been feeling disconnected in my pursuit of God. I was doing all the “right” things—studying my Bible, participating in worship, engaging in fellowship—yet it never felt like enough.

Still, deep down in my heart, I knew it wasn’t supposed to feel this way.

But here’s the truth: God wants to transform your heart. He wants to heal your heart, the same way He’s healing mine.

Worship was the Mirror

There’s this song, "Come Again" by Elevation Worship x Maverick City, that I love—it describes that feeling perfectly. There’s a particular part that really registered with me:

The song goes a little further and says this:

More than anything, this song is more than a confession, it's a declaration. You're basically acknowledging to God that you are desperate for Him. If I can be honest, I don't want to be that type of Christian. I don't want to know or love Jesus in a way that feels like I always have to be at my breaking point to call on Him because I know He's going to be there. I want to love Jesus at my fullest capacity. I want to choose to love Jesus when I am my happiest, my most broken, when I'm thankful, when I'm full of energy, when I am completely confused, even when I'm waiting and hopeful. It's kinda like the woman of 12 years who had the issue of blood in Matthew 9, who goes and says, "If I could just touch his garment, I will be made whole." Or the Israelites who were confronted by God in Hosea 5. Both of these stories are so different in many ways, but one thing remained true. They both needed God to heal and comfort them whether they verbalized it or not.

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, he comforts those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18

Don’t Settle for Half a Heart

Just like the woman with the issue of blood, we can find ourselves caught up in the rush of a situation, believing it's an end-all-be-all. But God is painting a different picture.

It’s not that the picture you saw was wrong—just incomplete. If the woman had let her situation limit her faith, she would’ve missed her healing. If she let what she felt dictate what she knew was hers for the taking, she wouldn’t have met Jesus when she did. Too many of us are walking around with only half a heart surrendered, wondering why we feel disconnected. But healing can't happen when you're still holding back.

Don’t settle for half a heart—God didn’t call you to be lukewarm.

Let this serve as a reminder: God is waiting on you to go to Him. There's no more time to keep walking or tiptoeing around what you need to do. You need to start running towards God, and away from things that aren't Him. You might not necessarily need healing in this moment, but you need compassion. You need safety. You need truth. You need godly affirmation. You need grace. You need Jesus, above all else. In all things, always.

Let this be the day, you choose to step into the identity of who God has called you to be. Let this be the day you finally stop playing small, and learn to take up space. Let this be the day you decide to ask for what you want. Let this be the day you go for what you want. My hope with this blog post is you finally choose more, but most importantly you choose Jesus. He's

the best, most important invest you can make in your life thus far.

Let's go into the week with a heart that is fully postured towards God. He has certain things that He needs to work on in you. He has certain things he wants to give you. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, but sometimes the gift comes in the form of a release. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation; the old things have passed away, and the new has come! He wants to affirm your weakness in His strength. He wants to take you from glory to glory through Him. He can't do that if you're still fighting to keep that narrative that is keeping you from experiencing him in his fullness.

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